Soap is not a condiment
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I got her a Nickelback box set.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Randomize
