Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
