Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Randomize
