i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
