This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
