I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Randomize
