Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
