sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize
