Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
