your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
