i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
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