There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
honey bunches of taint.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
she pinky promised me she was 18
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Randomize
