We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize
