And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
