Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
