Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
