I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I looked at my own cervix.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
