it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Randomize
