Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Randomize
