I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
It's official drugs can't kill me
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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