Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
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