I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
