my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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