we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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