its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
