If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
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