Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
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