Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
