so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Randomize
