And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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