Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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