worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
