great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
