Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
