they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
