was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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