On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Randomize
