He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
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