I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Randomize
