I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
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