Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
tell me about the eggs
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