the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
