I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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