I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
