I don't usually arrange sex via text message
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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