it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
