They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Randomize
