Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
