oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
