is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
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