me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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