She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
