I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
