id be glad to
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
