I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
