I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Randomize
